FlagpoleSitta

Divorced in 2017 and haven’t had sex with anyone since. I tried with a woman I dated briefly in 2020, but couldn’t get hard. She was strange, anyway. A very odd woman. Then a month later, the pandemic started and I just haven’t had any desire to get into another relationship since.

I have had low T all my life, so I’ve never had a high sex drive to begin with. I was never a chronic masturbator. I was never even into porn my whole life until around 2008 when I started dating a woman who was very much into it. I started watching it only with her. All straight porn (she didn’t know I was bisexual.) But several years later when she went out of town for a week, I got curious about other genres. So I watched a little bit by myself. Slowly, over time, I started watching more and more of it without her. Gay and lesbian porn, then tranny porn, then cuckold porn. What really got me was the sissy porn. Such cute, smooth feminine men just getting pounded and taken advantage of. That’s when I learned about the almighty “sissygasm.”

So I tried one of my girlfriend's dildos one night when I was home alone and experienced my very first sissygasm. Mind…freakin’...BLOWN!!! 🤯 WOW!!! By far, the BEST orgasm I’ve ever had! Where had THAT been all my life? I was now hooked on porn and the sissygasm. By the time I realized I was doing this everyday, it was too late! I’m officially a gooner! The sissygasm is so good, and because I was now masturbating four times a day, it ruined our relationship. Because that’s ALL I wanted. I completely stopped wanting sex with her because it was no where near as amazing. We’d still have sex, but it was nowhere near as often or as passionate as before. Eventually, she started getting it from other guys. I never told her I knew about her affairs. That’s when I found out that it actually kinda turned me on. So if I ever do get into another relationship, it will most certainly be an open one.

So now when I’m home alone and get on xHamster, I instantly get hard and sometimes I’ll goon and edge for hours. My absolute favorite porn to watch is gay, followed by tranny and sissy. I especially love to watch BBC’s breed white men, turning them into their little bitches. That powerful and controlling cum dump really turns me on. I only occasionally watch straight porn. I’m not really into women as much as I used to be. Just something hot about a guy losing all control as his throbbing cock shoots yummy cum everywhere. Women’s orgasms are pretty boring compared to that.

I’ve always identified as bisexual, but ever since the divorce, I haven't had any sexual feelings towards anyone. So I suppose I can be considered asexual now. But I love to watch other people have sex and I’m fine with putting on some of my women’s clothes and just jerk off to that. So perhaps “pornosexual” is a better fit?

I do cross dress occasionally but mostly in private. That’s also the fault of that porn loving girlfriend I mentioned earlier. She only wore skimpy clothes all the time and I found it hot that other guys (and sometimes girls) would goon all over her every time we went out. So one year, I used Halloween as an excuse to dress like a slut just like her. She thought it would be funny and encouraged me to do it. I LOVED it!!! Those clothes made me feel like a sex object. I finally understood why women dress like that. Lots of skin showing gets your attention, but there’s just enough clothes to make you goon and wonder what she looks like without that skimpy outfit. After that, I started stealing her clothes little by little to wear when I was home alone. I’ve been (secretly) cross dressing ever since.

Every now and then I’ll go someplace with some women’s garments on. But the cross dressing is mostly for me to get turned on and masturbate. I’ll even take pictures and video of myself while cross dressing to jerk off to later. Does anyone else get turned on at the sight of their own body or am I just really weird? Please let me know because I’m genuinely curious.

I hope you enjoyed my intro. If you made it this far, thanks for reading. And let me know if you have any questions.

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